7 weeks on Sunday......
I have seven weeks left until my first show of 2018! What?! It felt like Christmas was only a couple months ago.
Now I bet you’re thinking... but you where on 18 weeks the last blog, girl why can't you count?
At the start of my prep my grandad got really sick, and half way through he passed away. I didn’t get to see him one last time, I didn’t get to go to the funeral, I didn’t get to say goodbye. I had to decide whether I should take out a loan and get myself to Africa or stay and follow my dream. So Instead of flying to Africa I got up for morning cardio, went to the gym and shut out the world because I hated everything and everyone. My god I was angry. It's still taking a long time to loose that anger, but I am working really hard at staying in the light.
You know we all have that person that no matter what has always believed in you, has always been proud of you, he was my someone. When I was diagnosed with dyslexia he told me it didn’t mean anything “you can still concur the world”.
When I was diagnosed as autistic he told me “you can do anything you want”. Now that I’ve lost my person I’m scared, I’m angry and I miss him so bloody much. But we’re from Africa and my god he would beat me with a stick if he saw me give up and not finish this. So my heart is still broken but I want to do this so much so I’m pushing through. Every now and then when I’m really struggling I feel him with me, (I know that sounds so cheesy but it’s true) I feel his hand on my shoulder as if he’s pushing me forward because he knows how much this means to me.
But let’s lighten this up!
I have two tips that will get you through life!
1: always know where the nearest toilet is.
2: Surround yourself with good people, good friends and thank your lucky stars every day for the people that put up with you!
If you remember to do both you’ll go far!
I wouldn’t be here without my TuffWraps family.......
Training is going well even though on some days I feel like I haven’t eaten for a year (I eat every three hours but apparently even tired I haven’t lost my inner drama queen) I am still hitting PB's and keeping form as tight as possible because this girl does not want ANY injuries (touch wood).
Food went up this week!!!!! Which means more carbs!! And jam!! I get jam this week!!!! I used to hate jam... but ever since I started prep it’s been like liquid gold! It’s almost as good as evening being able to have a cheat meal!
Oh! And I have decided to do something truly mad... I’m going to do a PCA show! I’m not saying which one until I’ve signed the dotted line. It’s the most terrifying but exciting thing I’ve ever decided to!
My coach is really happy, my parents, my friends, my partner are all so proud of me. But most importantly I am proud of me. I look in the mirror and see someone I believe in, someone that I’m so proud of and that’s something I haven’t felt in a while......
Let the countdown continue!